Thursday, 12 March 2015

Caught me staring at her husband...

Warning: Reader discretion advised. This entry contains scenes that you may find disturbing... well, I sure did!

It’s Sunday. I’m resting in the seating area of Takashimaya Shopping Centre’s baby department.

Children are laughing, crying and talking non-stop. I see a baby screaming red in the face while the grandfather is gently rocking him in his arms, softly talking to him. He starts to calm down (the baby, not the adult) and we’re back to happy.

A young mid-twenties mother, carrying a quilted bag, arrives with her newborn (and I really mean newborn as this kid can’t possible hold a one-word conversation, let alone hold his own head up). She sits & skilfully whips out a full milk bottle from the bag, while still cradling & cooing to the little sweetie.

Young husband arrives with the pram; two bigger quilted bag are hanging on it. He starts shuffling for someting in one of the pram bags... oh it’s his iPad. He scrolls fast.

Mother gives that bottle a couple of good shakes and feeds it to her baby. Fast as lightning, without missing a beat, father shoves the iPad cartoon screen in front of the child, blocking his own fatherly face and distracting from mother’s motherly gaze.

What the... ? I was stunned. I sat there with eyebrows raised for 5 seconds. I lowered them when the mother caught me staring at her husband.

This man held up the device, unflinchingly for the full 8 minutes or so, it took the little munchkin to quietly finish drinking his milk. Congratulations, Sir - You are an iDad.

Not a single word was exchanged between the couple either. It was as if they’d rehearsed this scene a million times to dullsville. It’s now a mime performance.

Ladies and Gentlemen, am I the only one who thinks this is wrong?

For the life of me, I remember mothers always looking with utter adoration at their babies during milk time, no question about it. As much as possible, proud fathers would make funny faces to entertain their newborns at all times.

He sees your eyes, nose, mouth and ears. He sees your cheeks perk up when you smile. He hears your voice when you laugh. He sees you, his dear mother & father. He shouldn’t be looking at a flat screen device just yet. He’s a baby!

Should I have said something to the uncommunicative parents? I honestly didn’t think I’d get through to these two, so I just sat there for the full 8 minutes and sighed.

Bored, I started making up excuses for them.

1. They are runaway aliens in human form. They mustn’t speak lest the Interstellar Police radar picks up their vocal signals.

2. The baby is a robot. A first generation robot baby that looks & does everything human, except for one glitch - when he cries, he picks up the local radio station or police intercom, whichever is nearer. They couldn’t risk the kid making a sound at not wanting to be fed.

3. They actually ARE mime performers hired by the shopping centre. A travelling one.

4. There’s no milk in there. It’s one of those bottles that fake the liquid disappearing. The kid hates this joke his parents play on him, but he’ll go along with it since he gets the cartoon.

5. It’s a reality advertisement for iPad.

6. This is one of those hidden camera Gotcha! kinda thing and I’ll be famous real soon. Anytime soon. Sooner than this blog will make me, dang it!

7. The store thinks I’m a celebrity, or a shoplifter, and the two adults are plainclothes security staff ready to protect me or pounce on me. The baby is a robot (see Number 2).

8. They are after my latest culinary discovery, Furikake French Toast and here’s the simple oh-so-delicious recipe. Enjoy!

Furikake French Toast

It smells Incredibly tempting
2 slices white bread, cut into 8 triangles
2 small eggs, beaten
1 tbsp, or more, Furikake (I use the Mishima brand; see last pic)
Chopped cilantro, optional
White pepper, to taste
Dash of sesame oil

Heat up a non-stick pan.
Mix all the ingredients, except the white bread.
Dip and thoroughly coat a triangle of bread into the egg mixture.
Fry both sides of the bread till egg is cooked.
Repeat for all the triangles of bread.
Serve hot.

Quick & Easy Snack

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